SOMEONE TEXTED ME WITH THE WRONG NUMBER AND I PLAYED ALONG I’M GOING TO HELL I KNOW IT
a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan
years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal
he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”
I DONT GET IT????
oh fuck every time i see it i laugh so fucking hard. i have to reblog this every time. i can’t not reblog this
lOOK AT THE GUY IN THE BACKGROUND HE’S LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF
this is so great omg
He looks at his hand like it’s the first time he’s ever seen it.
jaydick, except i can’t decide if dick is the one staring at his hand, shocked by jay’s audacity, or the guy laughing hysterically in the background, using the squad car to prop himself up so he doesn’t double over from laughter,
Exercise caution, especially with things labeled “fresh” pizza
I dunno, I’m most worried about “stairs”
you (nearly) sunk my battleship.
there are actual tear in my eyes